Still need to put my face on, changed outfits a dozen times bc I can’t find anything to wear.
Now I’m HOT from the blow drying / rollers / flat / curling iron and starting to sweat.
My legs are cramping from standing, people keep texting, “OMG” so & so just retweeted / fav’ed / replied and or is now following me!! Tweeting as I’m brushing out my clip-in hair extensions.
UGHHH I’m still sweaty in my underwear, still haven’t decided on what to wear: “I wonder if it’s cold / hot outside, “I should check the weather on my phone. Good it’s 70 which means by 5pm I’m going to be freezing so don’t forget a jacket.” #SFweather
While looking at the weather forecast, “WHAT it’s 89 in Seattle.. GREAT here come the boating pics. #jealous.”
3rd alarm goes off, ” Oh crap I’m def not making it in 30 min…” As I’m thinking of excuses- Please be stuck in traffic or late too.”
Phone rings: Another recruiter ugh “Please email me the info and I will get back to you, I’m at work.”
Checking my email on my phone while blow drying my face on the cool setting (not as cold as I’d like). Sweaty face + makeup = Disaster.
10 min go by.. Face is halfway done.. “Where the heck did my eyeliner go? / Crap, did I use all my lashes?” Panic sets in as drops of sweat bead down my nose. “Thank God make up forever concealer’s waterproof.” YESS FOUND lashes & eyeliner , now where’s my special eyelash glue?!?!
4th Alarm goes off: I put on the first outfit I tried… Of course. READY to get my Uber: WTF 2x BLITZ as I go through my phone and pull up Lyft. Awesome gotta try the shared ride thingy, only $3? What a deal!!”
Now I’m dressed, face, hair .. CHECK. AWE SH!t SHOES!! As I’m wearing flip-flops (don’t judge their Jimmy Choo) Fumble with my shoe boxes and find the pair I’ve worn maybe twice for 30 min. TEXT: You have 1 min to be outside for pickup… As if!!
Grab my bag, and run through mental checklist:
Phone.. My god where is my phone - it’s in my hand.
Make up bag
TATCHA blotting paper
Pen & notepad
Back up battery pack
Charger ( outlet & car)
Lighting USB cable
Micro USB cable
30 pin adapter
Now I’m on the cusp of a full blown anxiety attack, “Do I have everything? I feel like I’m forgetting something important.” Oh screw it. Lock door and run down 2 flights of stairs and 1 more outside. I open the gate with my heels in one hand and phone in the other while I see my Lyft leave without me.. FRACK. TEXT MSG: $5 missed ride fee!? Oh heck no.. As I tweet Lyft..
Phone rings “So they will not seat us until the entire party arrives..” I’m THE lamest train wreck 5 min pass by my new driver shows up. I get in to a nicely air conditioned car & greeted warmly by the driver who asks about my day… Drivers should get paid more: they’re essentially talk therapists.
I finally arrive at destination. I’m not high maintenance. I just need advanced notice.